I don't know

Actually recently I have serious doubts about understanding myself. After all the person that is the hardest to understand is yourself.Give for example I always thought I was this gracious, cool person. But for some weird reason, this year my behaviour changed but I don't know whether this is because of my environment or just my true colours. Hmmm... It's like I always thought I was gracious but I cannot help envying and being jealous of someone with things I want. I always dismiss the thoughts when I think of it and be a little disgusted and angry at myself for even thinking that. So I really don't know what is my real personality and what is it that I want myself to be. Another example was: Starting this year for some unknown reason, I keep getting pissed at small things and people and No it is not PMS...Actually pissed is not the right word it should be annoyed or irritated but it always comes out as me saying that I'm pissed. The thing is that I continuously grumble about stuff that irritates me to my friends. I don't think that that is nice of me but I don't know how to change. I used to be this really cool person and although I got angry then it wasn't over minor details but over stuff that I feel strongly about but now... so I do not know what my real personality is. It might have been that all those years before was me suppressing my emotions while this year, I announce my feelings to my friends(Probaly overly much). It is kinda freaky to be so confused by my actions, but that's life! I'll live through it and find a way:D